My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
