How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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