Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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