would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
