Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
