apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
