remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he shaved USA in his pubs
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
