I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
