I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
