dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize