Christians are straight up FREAKS
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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