You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
