...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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