erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
