the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
