I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
