I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
