Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
