Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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