The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
