we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
