It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
