I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
