at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
