Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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