All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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