Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
True strength comes from lack of pants
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
