Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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