I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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