is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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