my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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