you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
