He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
