he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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