Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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