what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
