is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
