hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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