Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
