You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
