it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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