Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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