He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
