my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
