3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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