you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
