I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
