she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
did i walk over a car last night?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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