those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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