This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
