Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
