Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
