I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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