Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
