It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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