IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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