omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
