you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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