u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
