just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
