It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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