everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
