we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Acid is not a monday night drug
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize